While watching the news last night (something I rarely do), one of the news stories really bothered me. Now granted we all have our different forms of discipline and ‘punishments’ when our children do something wrong. But this “mom” and I use the term lightly as I just can’t believe she would treat her adopted son this way. I won’t include the video as I actually started to cry; that is how much it bothered me, but I will include the link for anyone that wishes to watch it. (he was 5 at the time the news reported).
Alaska mother Jessica Beagley told Dr. Phil her seven-year-old adopted son is out of control and she’s tried everything to discipline him including “Hot saucing,” a controversial method of discipline.
Read more: http://www.abcactionnews.com/dpp/news/local_news/mother-uses-hot-sauce-to-discipline-7-year-old-child-then-runs-him-under-cold-shower#ixzz1W8d6MAVb
I know some people will say a parent has a right to use any type of discipline they see fit (so there is no reason to use that as a comment.) My problem with this is 1) If I was made to DRINK hot sauce I would probably choke, not to mention the after effect on my throat and digestive system. I never used ‘soap’ as a deterrent but if I had my child would not have had to drink it. 2) To put a child in a cold shower, while screaming at him-is not only abusive-how is this helping that child to learn? When a child is adopted (let a lone a child that is your own) shouldn’t that child feel safe and loved in their environment? This child was adopted from a foreign country orphanage-he suffers from attachment disorder…hmmm I wonder why?
Maybe this so called Mother should have taken more classes on how to deal with a child from another country? I know most states in order to foster or adopt you have to go through parenting classes. Did she happen to take a class in torture techniques? My heart just ached for this little boy.
The oddest thing was this “mom” obviously thought she was right as she taped what she did for the Dr. Phil show. Another sign that she isn’t ‘right’ in my book… (in the head that is).
Our children shape their tomorrow. These children that are being abused and put through these types of so called discipline -what do we think they are going to become when they are older? I am just so furious and sad when I think about ALL of the children out there being subjected to this type of abuse.
Here is the ‘transcript’ from the video:
In the video she gave to the Dr. Phil show in an effort to get help disciplining her son she videotaped herself standing at the bathroom counter where her son sat. She was nose-to-nose with the boy as she loudly questioned him.
Jessica Beasley: “Does it work to lie to me? What happens when you lie to me?”
7-year-old: “I get hot sauce (crying).
Jessica Beasley: You get hot sauce! What else happens when you lie to me?
7-year-old: I get a cold shower.
Jessica Beasley: What is the consequence for pulling a card at school?
7-year-old: A cold shower (crying).
Jessica Beasley: A cold shower, get undressed right now!
A blood-curdling scream came from behind the blue and pink shower curtain as she continued scolding him about misbehaving at school, causing the teacher to send him home with color-coded cards.
“You pulled three cards today that is unacceptable behavior! You are to do what you are told! You are supposed to listen to your teacher and when you are told to stop you stop! Do you understand what I am telling you?” screamed Beagley.
ABC Action News interviewed Major Rob Bullara of the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office. He watched the video and we asked if this mother had gone too far.
“In this case, this women evidently has some anger management issues with how she’s handling that event with that small child. We would definitely investigate,” said Bullara.
The Major added whether Beagley went too far can’t be answered without a thorough investigation and that would “absolutely” happen in Hillsborough County with a case like this.
“It is very disturbing to look at this due to the sheer fear that she places in that child, which would also be considered by a prosecutor or law enforcement in regards to bringing charges against her,” said Bullara.
Her plea was not-guilty as in her words “this was a family situation”. Well I would like to ask her since when are you given the right to treat your child like a prisoner of war? If she couldn’t handle him, she should have reached out for help. I could go on and on, as this just makes me furious. This child maybe just needs more love and encouragement, or maybe he needs to be asked why he is acting this way, what is upsetting him to make him ‘pull 3 cards at school’? He was 5 at the time, FIVE….
If you want to see the video- here is a link:
We shape our children’s future by what we write on their wall-although this is somewhat a Dr.Phil quote-it is one of the most true things I think he has said. (even for those of you that don’t care for the guy). Its a wall and not a slate as that type of treatment just can’t be erased, it is there, permanently.
So what are your thoughts? Abuse or Discipline?
Wife, mother, grandma, blogger, all wrapped into one person, although it does not define her these are roles that are important to her. From empty nesters to living with our oldest and 2 grandchildren while our house is rebuilt after a house fire in 10/2018 my life is something new each day.