Strategies for Negotiating Your Divorce Terms
Nothing can prepare you for a divorce, especially when it’s time for the negotiations. But a good pre-made marital settlement agreement will help you stay on top of everything the case throws your way. Here are five key strategies that can help you negotiate a fair divorce outcome.
Keep Your Emotions Under Control
Every divorce challenges people. It’s never easy to see your life with someone else become a contract negotiation. But you’ll have to meet your spouse halfway if you want to make any progress. Practice active listening so you can really understand their point of view.
Your emotions are going to run high in every discussion. Your spouse will almost definitely be in the same boat. Nobody comes away from these talks feeling nothing. Outbursts or name-calling just make everything a lot harder for every party.
You can’t issue ultimatums or lines in the sand during divorce negotiations. These can deadlock the whole process. The only way to move forward here would be to take the case to court. You’ll have to be fair across every negotiation. No matter how sad, hurt, and even angry you are.
Read Up on Asset-Splitting Laws
Look up the laws in your state or consult with your divorce lawyer. This shows you how much of your assets will go to your spouse — and possibly vice versa.
Community property states (such as California and Texas) split marital property quite evenly. But you’ll still have wiggle room in terms of who gets what. This could lead to another lengthy round of negotiations.
Prepare clear reasons for why you should have certain items over your spouse.
Some states (including New York and Florida) instead use equitable distribution. Fairness is the biggest priority here. Each party effectively gets what they deserve. The person who contributed the most to the marriage may walk away with more, for example. Longer marriages usually have more even splits.
You and your spouse may already have an arrangement that sidesteps these rules. A prenuptial agreement can dictate how you two split your assets. Alternatively, you might just agree on how to divide it all during your negotiations.
Use a Pre-Made Template
First-time divorcees often struggle with the settlement agreement. You might have no idea what to include or how it will affect you. Online documents come with all the fields you’ll need to fill in.
You’ll even be able to find templates that fit your situation. You’ll need a different template if you have kids, for example. This is the only way to guarantee the settlement stands up to scrutiny. A minor error could otherwise cost you the whole divorce.
Your spouse may insist on using their own document. You should compare it with your pre-made agreement. Are there any big differences? Are they trying to make it more favorable for them? In any case, make sure your lawyer goes over the document.
Be Open to Compromise
You can usually get a divorce settlement that works for you. But you might have to leave some things on the table. Clarify your priorities and make sure these form the basis of your arguments wherever possible. A successful negotiation is one where you both walk away happy.
For example, you may want alimony payments or another form of spousal support. Your spouse can then ask for certain concessions when splitting assets. Only accept deals like these if you’re happy with them and think they’re fair. However, you probably won’t get everything you ask for.
There might even be questions about selling marital property. For example, a beach house that neither side is likely to use alone. Who handles the sale, and how will you split the profits? Every case comes with its own issues to navigate.
Keep Your Kids in Mind
Children are another major consideration in many divorce arrangements. The custody battle can be incredibly difficult for everyone — but especially the child. You and your spouse must always remember that they’re at the heart of these conversations.
It can’t be easy for your child (or children) to see their parents fight. This is true even without the custody question. You have to keep your emotions under control even outside the negotiations. The way you talk about your spouse in front of your child could have a serious impact.
Your child might stand to lose the most from these negotiations if they go sour. Child support will also likely be a part of the conversation, especially when one spouse earns much more than the other. You’ll both need to make sure the child’s happy with everything.
Conclusion
Few couples have an “easy” divorce. But knowing how to negotiate this settlement will help you (and possibly your child) land on your feet. A pre-made template will be especially useful. Make sure you still get a lawyer to check over the agreement before you sign anything.
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