He Didn’t Have to….But He Did. He Doesn’t Have to.. But He Does.

rog & myself image

rog & myself image

He Didn’t Have to….But he Did. He Doesn’t Have to.. But he Does.


I just got done reading a touching post and it made me realize so much about my own husband that I just had to write something.  But I do want to direct you to her post as it gave me goosebumps, chills and made my eyes welt up. It made me remember the ‘why’ to my marriage, that so many days I take for granted. I encourage you to go over and read her post-its inspiring to say the least: When you think your love story is boring….

I have been almost married for 18 years. Some years have been longer than others and although we have had our ups and downs… its like in this last 2 years we have finally ‘arrived’.  Like the post above- my husband has never ran across an airport to kiss me off my feet…(more like we have picked up and dropped off my “our” oldest when he has flown in from Hawaii while serving in the US Marine Corp)  OR  my last 2 trips for Disney to LA for an event. …

He has loved me I think from the day he met me… I had recently (in the past 8 months) had a new baby and a 3 year old and was a single mom…I guess you would call it recovering from a 3 week hospital stay, c-section and loss of my almost 5 year high school sweetheart to someone other than myself.  He was a friend, of a friend and I was most impressed with how he interacted with my 2 little ones, and that a pair of his flannel boxer shorts (I saw sticking out of his bag) matched my robe perfectly. He was funny and although we weren’t dating when he called me “Honey” with his Texan charm; it made me melt inside.

At one point in our relationship I questioned myself–I think just having 2 small children and an X that wasn’t ‘always’ easy to get a long with I wondered if I was making the right decision. My Grandma Ryan (now deceased) must have noticed my second guessing of myself and she said “You may not be ‘in love’ with him right now; but one day you will love him more than your life itself”, “I know this because he loves you like your Grandpa Ryan has always loved me”.  My Grandpa’s love for my Grandma was never waivering, never failing; always faithful. I always wanted that type of love for myself, that of my parents, that of my uncle and aunts, that of my Grandparents.

My husband took on 2 boys that were not his own and helped  raise them as if they were. He was at every sporting event, every school open house, at every major event that required a loving father. He didn’t have to….but he did.

At times he has worked 2 or more jobs to help us make ends meet; especially when the kids were little (we also were blessed with a daughter). When jobs kept ‘letting him go’ due cutbacks –and I said “why don’t you open a daycare in our home?” He went right to work at figuring that out. Male daycare providers were not the ‘norm’  almost 13 years ago; especially one with tattooed arms. The ridicule he took from those that thought it was funny ‘a man staying home to watch kids’, surely there must be something wrong with him [said with sarcasm on my part]. He did this to be home with our youngest; as well as when the boys got home from school since I worked full time outside of the home. He didn’t have to…..but he did.

He has taken care of me through pulled wisdom teeth (we were only dating), various surgeries, illnesses, back and neck issues. He didn’t have to..but he did.

He has supported me through my trials and tribulations with my ex family. He supported my boys through the loss of their biological father a few years back, graduations and recently a new daughter in law and  2 1/2 year old granddaughter. He rolls with the changes and always has a humorous thing to say; even when I am not feeling ‘oh so funny’. He doesn’t have to..but he does.

He isn’t always the most ‘positive’ in the house-but his heart overflows with love for his family, near and far. There are times when I think that he has said ‘sorry’ more than he ever should have to-but he wants me to feel happy and by doing so, smooths the rough road. He doesn’t have to …but he does.

Our home is one of cracked ceramic tiles, snagged furniture, kitchen chairs that don’t match along with a TV we have to smack to make the line going across give us back our picture…but it is ours and the banks. It is where I want to have my grandchildren come to stay, a place to have a family BBQ or campfire to have S’mores. It is where we blow bubbles and swing  Emma; while possibly catching a glimpse of a deer or “HUGE bird” in our backyard. This is where Roger wanted to buy to finish raising his family and where we would continue to invite our family back for years to come. He didn’t have to…but he did.

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Most recently (in this past year), Roger has made a commitment to lose weight and be healthier. He has lost 3 pants sizes and close if not over 50 pounds. He works out 6 days a week to keep this going for himself, and for us. He is encouraging to others as he knows what it is like to not be happy with yourself… He also recently ran his first 5K for the Live Like Liz foundation-a cause that is very close to his heart.

I am very thankful for all that my husband does as a spouse, a father and a person. Obviously he isn’t perfect; as none of us are…but I really do agree with my Grandma Ryan’s wise words, I truly love Roger more than life itself. We are coming up on 18 years of marriage this coming September and I am hoping for many, many more years to come.

Sometimes I forget…He Didn’t Have to… But He Did. He Doesn’t have to … But He Does.

 

 

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