Let Your Faith Be Bigger Than Your Fear
Fear is a terrible thing. It sits right up there with stress and worry. Twelve years ago I left working outside the home to working from home. I had worked for my father for 8 years in the insurance business, (do not think working for a parent is ‘easier’ than an unrelated boss). I didn’t take fake sick days like one of the other secretaries in the office because it was my Dad. I didn’t leave early or come in late. More often I came in early and left late. My job paid for daycare and health insurance, looking back that kind of sounds silly. But I had my eye on the bigger picture. I knew eventually my Dad would retire and I wanted to take over his business. I got all of my licenses to sell the actual insurance, learned all the parts of running the office. I COULD run the office all by myself. The time came to see if I ‘had what it took’ for the insurance company to approve me.
So the day came that I went up to one of their main headquarters. I took a test, interviewed with a ‘higher-up’ and then waited. It felt like days for an answer. I remember my Dad coming out of his office and saying they wouldn’t allow me to take it over if he retired. I also remember sobbing as he hugged me because I was sure I had what it took. To make a long story shorter; I was able months later to ‘try again’, only to be turned down again and be told “I didn’t aim high enough”. I felt I was being reasonable in my expectation of what I would be able to sell in our area. I didn’t want to overreach and fall short. I allowed fear to win, and it held me back.
So when my Dad retired; so did I. I did interview with the new agent and he didn’t want to pay me what I felt I was worth. I could run the whole office and I had a rapport with the policyholders. Since he didn’t see that potential; I turned him down and decided I would help my husband with his daycare in our home. When I realized that wasn’t my “thing”, I moved on. I won’t go through all of the businesses I did, but I kept looking for the next best thing. Although I was successful in a couple of my things; I burned out within 5 years and I got bored.
I didn’t want to go back to working outside of the home. I had missed being home with my kids when they were younger; especially my youngest. Fear kept me from reaching out to others. I never had an issue helping someone else; but I wouldn’t ask for help. I learned what I needed (I felt) from search engines and I have always joked that Google is my best friend. This meant I didn’t have to reach out; and again I let my fear win.
Finally I stumbled upon my domain name. I started watching other bloggers grow, trying to figure out how they did it. But fear kept me hostage; I didn’t reach out to companies for ‘fear’ of being turned down. I didn’t do a lot of things because of fear.
Then I got an email one late night. I was sure it was spam because it said I was being invited to LA for The Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3 press event. It was an all paid trip. It was too good to be true. So I emailed the pr representative and asked if it was spam. She probably thought I was out of my mind.
When it was time to go I hadn’t flown in 17 years, let alone flown alone. I didn’t know what to expect. So much so that when I got to the hotel, I paced in my room; when I should have been down to the cocktail party. This was the first time I worked through my fear. If I had let fear hold me back; I wouldn’t have been invited three more times in the last two years.
Since I love my job, I will no longer let fear hold me back. There are so many opportunities ahead that there is no longer room for fear to get in my way. My Dad, being self-employed for 30 years, always told me, “if you want something bad enough, you will figure out a way to get it”. What I want is to never have to work outside of our home again, so I will continue to work toward that goal. Will I still have fears? Of course! The difference now is that I will not let it hinder myself from achieving my goals I have set for myself. Do not let anything be bigger than your fear.
As Tammilee said in her post,
“What would you do if you could do anything? Where would you go? Who would you be?
Is fear driving your life or are you?”
Tammilee inspired me to write my post, if you would like to write one yourself (if you are a blogger), feel free to do so, and then link back to me so I can read your post!
Remember to let your faith be bigger than your fear!
Wife, mother, grandma, blogger, all wrapped into one person, although it does not define her these are roles that are important to her. From empty nesters to living with our oldest and 2 grandchildren while our house is rebuilt after a house fire in 10/2018 my life is something new each day.