Thats What She Said
Thats What She Said
Do you remember when you were a kid? Do you remember any of the women in your family (mom, aunt, grandma) that took care of you, saying odd things that in retrospect didn’t really make sense? Possibly you swore you would NEVER say that to your own child, but yet you have? I have a list of memories of women in my life that I recall saying things that really didn’t make sense looking back. As a child though, it could have been totally thought to be possible, or was inevitable.
1. Wait until your father gets home. -Looking back I think this was a stall tactic. Either Mom was fed up or it just had been a bad day all around.
2. If you cross your eyes like that, they will stick like that. – As a child this one is believable because , you don’t really want to have to live the rest of your life like that. Yet we now know that isn’t true, but have we ourselves said that to our kids?
3. Go outside and play to get the stink off of you. -Now think about it, if you go outside and play; aren’t you apt to get dirty? One relative I love to death used to say this to us when we came to visit and I think she just wanted to be alone. So my siblings and her 3 kids would all go outside together for a period of time. I think she vacuumed and cleaned while we were out there, and just didn’t want us in the way.
4. Stop crying or I will give you something to cry about. -After misbehaving and getting in trouble, it isn’t uncommon for a child to cry. The parent is agitated, tired of the whining and crying.So they say the above phrase, for one, you are already crying. Second, if they don’t want to listen to you cry, then why for crying out loud (no pun intended) would they want to do something that would make you continue to cry?
5. If you don’t stop sticking out your tongue, I will cut it off and nail it to your forehead. – One of my cousin’s went through a time of sticking out their tongue when their Mom got after them. Needless to say she never did this of course. But it did however, make a lasting impression.
6. You will sit there until you eat all of your [insert meal]; I don’t care if you sit there all night.- Was this really true? I am not really sure. Could you imagine sitting there until the next day? I don’t really know if this was a valid threat, but as a child, I didn’t want to take any chances.
7. If you eat the seeds in (pick a fruit), you will grow a fruit tree in your stomach. -Now that is just plain silly… but I almost bet you if an adult told you that? You stopped eating seeds because…. what if?
8. If you swallow your gum, it will make a ball and take 7 years for it to dissolve. -Now this one, could be believable. I always imagined this ball of gum just sitting there like forever, and what if you swallowed gum one day and then 2 weeks later you did it again? Would that gum then be extended to over 7 years?
9. Drinking coffee will stunt your growth. -Now as a child, this one I believed. I didn’t want to be that short all of my life if I was going to grow taller. Especially if I would have had to blame it on coffee.
10. Do you want me to wipe that smile off of your face? -This was really not a valid threat, but as a child you knew something was going to happen for that smile to leave your face.
Do you have any memories of when you were growing up that at that time seemed possible, but now looking back sound silly? Or do you or have you used the same tactics with your own child(ren). Share them below, I would love to hear them.
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