It's unfortunate to admit but divorce is getting to be more common than marriage these days. There are lots of different, socioeconomic, cultural and political reasons for this. But how it affects the individuals involved is many times unique. It's not one certain thing that causes fractures but a multitude of things. It's easy to play the blame game but most of the time, the fault is in both party’s courts. It's common for some things to occur in all marriage break ups. It could be that professional life has gotten in the way. One parent might be spending so much time at work that you grow apart from this way. Another might be that you don’t find the other sexually attractive anymore. It could also just be that you want something different in life and that’s not going to be achievable with your current partner. So many things stop us from leaving when we know we should.
Responsibility to the kids
Probably the number one reason for marriages hanging on despite both the mother and father being at odds, are the kids. We have a responsibility to choose a good mate, that we trust and know we’ll be able to be around and with them for many decades if not until life ends. However, this is not the common case we often choose people and either you realize who they are, or you just drift apart. People change sometimes but most of the time, they just show their true colors. It's vital that you both talk to your kids seriously about separation. This can greatly limit the trauma that children go through during the splitting of their parents. If you do this well, it should not keep yours from ending your own unhappy marriage.
The unknown legalities
It's common for many people to know a lot about marriage but not very much about divorce. This is partly down to culture but it's mostly down to the legal life we come into contact with. Legally speaking, it's a lot easier to get married than it is to get divorced. But the divorce process isn’t complicated at all. Firstly you need to find an experienced lawyer and just have a chat with them about your desire to end the marriage. You should prepare for this meeting by knowing where you stand on certain things like asset sharing, child custody, and joint account funds. You’ll meet the attorney and hopefully strike up a relationship whereby you each understand your personalities and wishes for the divorce.
Divorce means that both parties will no longer be as financially stable as they once were. It's a big shift in life to go from living in a house to potentially having to rent again in later life. Therefore, the financial aspect is very risky to some. However, if you are happy to be less well off for a newer better piece of mind, then this is something you should not fear.
There are many ways to stop a marriage from going down the road of divorce. However, when you just want something else in your life, these are the kinds of things we should consider and not stop yourself from finding another romantic pursuit in life.
Wife, mother, grandma, blogger, all wrapped into one person, although it does not define her these are roles that are important to her. From empty nesters to living with our oldest and 2 grandchildren while our house is rebuilt after a house fire in 10/2018 my life is something new each day.